Are you showing up?

Do you find yourself saying “yes!” to the grand mystery of life? Or do you find yourself frequently saying “no” or perhaps the more evasive yet common, “yes, but…”

This concept of willingness was introduced by Gerald May in the early 1980′s. May was a psychiatrist who described willingness as a “surrendering of one’s self-separateness, an entering into an immersion in the deepest process of life itself. It is the realization that one already is a part of some ultimate cosmic process and it is a commitment to participation in that process. In contrast, willfulness is the setting of oneself apart from the fundamental essence of life in an attempt to master, direct, control or otherwise manipulate existence. More simply, willingness is saying yes to the mystery of being alive in each moment. Willfulness is saying no.”

Brene Brown, the author of Daring Greatly puts in nicely: The willingness to show up changes us, It makes us a little braver each time. Willingness is an underlying attitude to embrace the wonder of life.

Willingness is:

•  Trying new things
• Choosing to do something different
• Increasing self awareness
• Examining old beliefs, assumptions and patterns of behavior
• Opening your heart and mind
• Being authentic
• Being vulnerable
• Accepting life on life’s terms
• Accepting failure and trying again

Art Classes Aren't Just for Children!

Some suggestions for increasing willingness in your life. Maybe start by choosing just one and as that begins to feel comfortable, then try another of these suggestions:

1. Pay attention to your dreams. Write them down in a dream journal, join a dream group.

2. Notice synchronicities. Synchronicities are two or more events that are unlikely to occur together yet appear to have a correlative and meaningful experience. For instance, having a dream about someone, then running into that person the next day. Or waking up with a song on your mind then later hearing that song on the radio. Especially pay attention to signs or synchronicities that occur 3 or more times.

3. Meditation or mindfulness practice. A formal practice allows us to be open and can help cultivate a willing attitude.

4. Be creative. Cook, garden, paint, draw, sing, dance, write. Creativity allows our inner most desires to be felt, heard and seen.

4. Follow inspiration. Listen for the small inner voice that often goes unnoticed or unanswered. When we follow that voice, we can find ourselves in situations that are more meaningful and better than we could have ever imagined.

At Angelfish Creations, we specialize in offering programs in all of the areas mentioned above. We would support your journey toward conscious living. If you would like to attend classes or coaching, are interested in working with us to teach others about living consciously by writing for our blog or volunteering in other ways, or if you have any questions about what we do, I would love to hear from you. Please contact me at mary@angelfishcreations.com.

We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.  Joseph Campbell

Her platelets had been below 100,000 for at least 5 weeks, but on May 7 she learned her platelets were at just 20,000.

Jeanee took matters into her own hands and began drawing platelets to externally visualize and help her body create more platelets.
Here is the picture that got her platelets going…

Platelets Drawing by Jean Bourque

This drawing exercise is a way for Jeanee to work towards her goal of helping her body create more platelets. Instead of “fighting the cancer”, Jeanee is focused on healing and strengthening her body. What a great example of setting a positive goal for yourself.

She returned to the doctors on May 9th after doing these platelets drawings and they had gone up to 23,000 in 2 days.

After the initial success with drawing the platelets, Jeanee decided to create 3-dimentional platelets out of Play Doh and has been making them in Play Doh ever since. Both the drawings and the sculptures demonstrate a concrete way to allow yourself to feel it and believe it while she waits for the great mystery to deliver what she is asking for.

On Friday May 17th,  Jeanee will return to her doctors to find out how many platelets she has. You can help her, by offering a short prayer for more platelets, or better yet, you can create some by drawing them or forming them out of Play Doh too. Let’s help her by committing to creating just 100, or even 1000 or more platelets?

Be sure to leave a comment here, letting Jeanee know how many platelets you’ve contributed to her cause!

3-D Platelets by Jean Bourque

In search of the inter-flam

Looking for something to warm heart and soul

I called out, it never came

I rode the backs of a hundred horses

Until all were ridden down

Searching for inter-unity

Still, it, nowhere to be found

I sailed the waters of fifty oceans

Ten Thousand times my ship made shore

Finding no inter-spirit

I put to sea no more

But when I stopped, and searched no longer

Feeling no need, nor desire

A dormant blaze, smoldering inside

Rekindled into an eternal fire

This poem was written by Mike Epps. The author is from rural Newberry, SC. He is a retired social worker with the South Carolina Department of Social Services. He has spent the past 25 years seeking a greater understanding of himself and life through dream work and other forms of inner work. He is now sharing some of those things with us.

Wonder Woman is a warrior princess of the Amazons who fights for justice, love, peace, and sexual equality. Whether using her mighty powers for good with her truth telling lasso, indestructible bracelets, iconic star or projectile tiara, Wonder Woman was an inspiration to many little girls like me who grow up in the seventies and eighties. Whether it is wonder woman or superman (those superman underoos were a big hit  too, you know?), the superhero archetype allows us to believe that we are really capable of doing something great.

Eventually I outgrew those underoos and ended up throwing them out. Worn out and stained with life’s disappointments, I decided to get on with my life. You know, the conventional, do what is expected, life that most of us go on to lead once we grow up.

At some point I got tired of that life, and in recent years, I have worked to create more of the life that I always dreamed of. Along the way, I have learned some skills that have been critical in owning my abilities, and that makes me feel a bit like Wonder Woman once again.

This is your life. Every day we have a choice to engage in our lives in a way that ultimately creates a life that is full. When we live consciously, we practice accepting reality and mindfulness, but in order to have the life you want, it’s important to own your ability to create that life.

If things aren’t working for you in your life, now is a good time to fix that. We all have pain. It’s easier to blame our unhappiness on others, but it’s certainly not more effective. What is effective is owning your ability to create the life you want. So put on your big girl (or boy) pants, and let’s do this!

Setting goals is the first step. Sometimes it is difficult for us to know what it is that we want, or if we do figure it out, it can be a challenge trusting in ourselves, waiting for it and trusting in the Universal life force that brings it to us. First ask yourself: ”What is it that I want most in my life?”

Often times we choose material things like new homes, fancy cars or even a new pair of shoes. These are things that we usually buy to make us feel worthy, happy or special. What happens when these things wear out? Do you go to the store and get new ones? Now you believe you can truly be happy. So we are happy for a minute, but then these things never make us truly happy. So the cycle continues.

If those material things are what you want, that’s great. Still, you may want to ask yourself, “why do I want these things?”

If it’s not material things that you are actually wanting most, then ask, “What is it that I really want?”. Until you are able to identify what it is you truly want, this cycle of impulsivity and seeking happiness will never really satisfy you. When we listen to the inner voice within, it’s the quiet voice that comes from our gut, then we find out what it is we truly want.

Whether you are aware of it or not, you are constantly attracting whatever you give your attention to. And whether you are aware of it or not you are constantly co-creating, along with the universal God consciousness, the life that you have (While we do have the ability to create the life we want, there is the Great Mystery, eternal life force or flow, to consider. But we’ll save that for another day).

For now we’ll focus on taking charge and being the Wonder Woman (or Superman!) you’ve always wanted to be. Setting goals is a great way be consciously aware of what we want, to clarify what we want and develop a concrete way of asking. It also helps to have these goals in writing so that we can go back to them when we get distracted by old ways of thinking. Setting goals to reflect our true wants are most helpful when we write them down. Be sure to write them:

1. In the positive (what is it that I want, rather than what I don’t want)

2. In the present tense.

Example for a relationship goal: “My relationships with my family, friends and coworkers are filled with love and understanding”.

Example for a health goal: “My body is happy and healthy. My cells are whole. My body heals itself”.

First, write down goals for yourself (I’d start with 3 goals) This is Asking for it.

After you have written the goals down the challenge is to wait and allow the things you want to come to you. This involves not only waiting, but trusting in yourself and the greater Universal flow or God consciousness that brings it to you.

It’s not enough to just ask, it’s important to really believe it and feel it too.

Finally, you must allow yourself to receive. Once we ask, the Universe always delivers. What often  happens is that we get confused, often returning to old patterns of thinking, and we end up getting what we don’t want, because that was where our attention was focused.

Although a number of attempts have been made to bring Wonder Woman to the big screen or a comeback to television, any have yet to emerge. I wonder if it has any thing to do with the collective unconscious’ tendency to put our disappointments, shame and weaknesses onto others. We can choose to let go of the blame and own our abilities to create the lives we want. You can be the Wonder Woman (or Superman!) you always dreamed of becoming.

Sometimes we need support in making the steps to get started in owning our abilities and creating the lives we want. Our group and individual programs are designed to help you in taking the steps to create the life you want. Please contact me at mary@angelfishcreations.com or (803) 269-8730 to find out more or to schedule an appointment.

By the way, Wonder Woman does still exist in print. I’ll end with the words of my favorite superhero:

” A new journey to be started. A new promise to be fulfilled. A new page to be written. Go forth unto this waiting world with pen in hand, all you young scribes, the open book awaits.

Be creative.

Be adventurous.

Be original.

And above all else, be young. For youth is your greatest weapon, your greatest tool. Use it wisely.”

                                                                                                              –Wonder Woman # 62, 2007

*Inspiration for this post was taken from the book Amazing Grace: Nine Principles of Living in Natural Magic by David Wolfe and Nick Good. I would recommend this book if you are interested in more on this subject.

You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment.  

Henry David Thoreau

I just love the imagery of the ocean, especially when I am on the beach, listening to the crashing of the waves, wind blowing, sun on my face. Mostly, because the ocean has a way of making us come alive. The waves coming and going, our worrys and problems seem to wash away with the tides.

The thoughts, feelings and situations that make up our lives are like waves in the ocean. They come and go. Have you ever tried to hold on to a wave in the ocean? You probably weren’t to successful with that one. Anyone whose ever been in the ocean has surely been knocked down a few times. We are much better off riding with the wave, because when we fight them, the waves will always win. After a fall we might come up for air, punching the waves, hair in our faces, water up our noses, or bathing suit askew.

We can choose to fight the waves (who does that right?) or we can choose to launch ourselves onto every wave. While we can’t hold onto waves in the ocean, we do have the ablity to cling to thoughts and feelings. But we can also choose to let them go.

Just the same, conscious living is a choice, the key component: Engage in the Present. Live the life that you are living. Living in the present moment, or mindfully, is conscious living.

Is there something that makes you feel engaged in life, aware and in touch with the present moment?

I recently led a women’s group at St. Martin’s in the Field Episcopal Church in Columbia. I was leading a workshop on mindfulness as a practice for growing closer to God. Each of us have our own perspectives about the definition of God, but for me this word “God” represents all that exists and the love that flows through every living thing. It’s probably why the ocean is so majestic, because it’s made of all of these tiny God particles and culminates into this gigantic symphony of movement. The ocean was one of those things that brought many of the women in the workshop closer to God.

Here is a glimpse at some of the other things they said brought them closer to God:

They told me that things such as nature, gratitude, creativity, relationship with others and even death and loss brought them closer to this peaceful state of grace or God consciousness. When asked further, they were able to identify these situations as times where they were fully engaged in the present moment of their lives.

When we  Engage in the Present, we live mindfully, with non-judgment and awareness of what’s happening in the present moment.We choose to let go of worries and fears about the past and future. We live consciously.

You are living your life anyway, so why not live fully engaged? Last week I wrote on Accepting Reality, one component of Engaging in the Present, which allows us freedom from suffering. This acceptance along with choosing to live with non-judgment and awareness of what’s happening in the present moment opens our eyes to the miracle of life. Underneath all of the moaning and groaning about how things should be, ultimately, wouldn’t you agree that life is a miracle? Here is what Thich Nhat Hahn, a Buddhist monk and Nobel Peace Prize winner has to say about life:

People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don’t even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child — our own two eyes. All is a miracle.

If your own experience isn’t enough to convenience you, there is plenty of research out there that speaks to the benefits of mindfulness, or Engaging in the Present. Here are just a few:

1. Increase emotional regulation including decreasing symptoms of depression and stress
2. Increase pain tolerance which is critical to living a life without suffering
3. Increase focus and attention
4. Increase self awareness allowing you to live more authentically
5. When practiced regularly, it even has the potential to change your brain functioning

There is increasing research on these benefits and more. For more information on research regarding the benefits of mindfulness practice, I suggest looking at the Mindfulness Research Guide.

With all of the business surrounding us in our world, it does take some commitment and practice in order to gain benefits from mindfulness. But you can practice at any time or in any place.

There are a several ways to do this, and they are things you probably practiced many times before. Sometimes when we get stuck thinking about the past or worrying about the future, our minds make this stuff more difficult than it need be.

Ultimately it is a matter of understanding how to just Be…

• Be Yourself. Trust yourself. Be patient with yourself and your life. Be who you are without striving. You are perfect just the way you are
• Be still. Focus on one thing in each moment
• Be non-judgemental. Observe your life and your experiences without judging
• Be willing to let go of attachment to thoughts, feelings and beliefs. Imagine your mind as a slip-n-slide, allow thoughts to come and go
• Be motivated to action. Know that the choices you make add up to the life that you have. Make the most effective choice for each moment
• Engaging in the present through mindfulness takes practice. Practice daily and you will find your self living more fully, consciously and authentically.

These states of mind are a great place to start. If you are still unsure where to go from here, then we want to help! Check back at the Flying Fish Blog for regularly updated posts on consciously living and other ways to create the life you want.

If you would like to attend classes or coaching to gain support in living consciously, are interested in working with us to teach others about living consciously by writing for our blog or volunteering in other ways, or if you have any questions about what we do, I would love to hear from you. Please contact me at mary@angelfishcreations.com.

As promised, I will be covering many aspects of how to live consciously during the coming weeks. Today, we start with Accepting Reality. This concept is difficult to master, and requires a lot of practice, so I thought it a great place to start.

Conscious living is living with awareness while choosing to act in a way that is in line with our authentic wants and values. So if I want more peace in my life, but notice that fighting is happening around me, I now have a conflict. My tendency may be to ignore this fighting, or perhaps stand up against it, in turn fighting the fighting. To live consciously, we must be willing to accept reality, or in this case, accept that there is fighting. Acceptance is not agreeing with the fighting. It is simply acknowledging that there is fighting.

This acceptance is the key to freedom from suffering. How often do you say “I can’t believe…” or “This shouldn’t have happened…”? These are things we say when we are fighting reality. Until we are able to let go of our preconceived ideas about how things should be, and stop fighting reality, we will continue to suffer. The reason for Acceptance is summed up in this quote:

Pain is inevitable, suffering is a choice. Haruki Murakami

We all have the experience of pain. Physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental pain is a part of our experience as humans from our first day on Earth. It is a part of the human condition. Fighting this reality does not make this reality less true. All that fighting the reality does is cause more suffering. So we will experience pain, all of us, many times. This is the true reality. But we have a choice as whether we allow that pain to cause suffering in our lives. The key is acceptance.

Acceptance is an art, and one of the best ways to practice acceptance is through the act of letting go. My friend Catherine uses the the phrase, in a dry, yet endearing tone, ”that’s so upstream” to describe this act of holding on. I love to hear her say this, and each time I am reminded of the realities I am fighting in my own life.

Catherine’s phrase comes from the metaphor of a river. Imagine taking a boat trip, and placing all of those things that you are holding into your boat, and then imagine paddling that boat upstream. How difficult would this be? Is this the type of trip you’ve been taking in your life?

What happens when you hold on too tightly? You’re likely to squeeze so hard that you either loose hold or the thing that you’re holding crumbles to pieces right there in your hand. When that happens, we often end up holding on to absolutely nothing but pain and suffering. What are you holding onto in your life right now? Is it a hurt from the past? Regret? Disappointment? What could be or might have been?

We hold on to relationships that are damaged. And jobs that are unrewarding. We hold on to possessions that are suffocating us (anyone watched an episode of Hoarders lately?). We hold onto emotions like anger, fear and sadness as if these feeling are adding anything of value to our lives. As we hold on, our lives swiftly pass us by.

Accepting Reality and letting go are skills that require practice, and here are some tips to help you on your journey:

• Accepting Reality is a choice
• Practice turning your attention to what you do want and away from what you don’t want
• We often have to choose acceptance over and over again
• It has to be done fully. Marsha Linehan describes it as “Radical Acceptance”
• Letting go is a part of Accepting Reality

If you have been paddling upstream, imagine taking a trip down the river instead. Acknowledge what you have been holding onto, the realities that you have been fighting. Perhaps you could consider letting go of some of the dead weight that you have been carrying along with you and enjoy the journey.

The author is from a rural town in Newberry, SC. He is a retired social worker with the South Carolina Department of Social Services. He has spent the past 25 years seeking a greater understanding of himself and life through dream work and other forms of inner work. What a gift that he is now sharing some of those things with us.

Maybe it feels safe to keep those precious possesions hidden away, but vulnerability and risk taking are our key to opening ourselves up to great things. What jewels have you kept hidden in your pocket? Maybe it’s time to shine some light on them. Please be sure to call us for coaching and classes if you are looking for guidance.

For a start, consciousness is awareness of whatever we perceive internally or externally at any given time, while “what is” is our reality at any point in time. This perception shifts every moment and each of us have our own collection of perceptions and experiences that have led to our current states of consciousness. Additionally, an experience can consist of a variety of factors including thoughts, feelings, actions, body sensations, and events that are happening within us and our environment.

Take, for instance, this sweet group of people working below:

What are YOU thinking, feeling, doing or being?

Each individual appears to be deep in thought and busy with their work. There is most likely a shared or collective consciousness of the Easter Eggs, meaning each person has some level of awareness that there is a table of eggs in front of them, and that they are there to dye these eggs. But the experience is different for each individual, and while we could make some pretty good guesses, we can only imagine what was within their conscious awareness at this particular moment in time. I’m betting it has something to do with whatever it is they are wanting to acheive for some it was beautiful eggs, for others attention or maybe just a quite moment amid the excitement.

So conscious living involves the concept of consciousness, or awareness of what is, but it includes more than that. Essentially, conscious living is living with awareness while choosing to act in a way that is in line with our authentic wants and values.

Do you know what it is that you want? Do you have a hard time remembering the last time you thought about what you REALLY wanted? Do you find yourself stuck in a routine that never ends, or find that you don’t enjoy life the way that you used to? Do you continue making the same choices and wish that you hadn’t? If you you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, then perhaps you could use some practice with conscious living.

Consciousness in and of itself requires no practice, we all have awareness of something throughout our lives. This awareness changes based on the variety of factors listed above, but it is often guided by our unconscious, or what I refer to as the soul. One of the goals for conscious living and for living a peaceful and fulfilling life is to live in line with your unconscious’ needs and wants. There will be more on HOW to do this later.

For now, we’ve learned that consciousness is a state of being, while conscious living is a practice.  Here are some other practices that are necessary for conscious living:

• Accept Reality in any given moment (you don’t have to agree with it or like it, just accept it)
• Engage in the Present, live mindfully, with non-judgment and awareness of the moment. Choose to let go of worries and fears about the past and future
• Own Your Ability to create the life you want
• Be Willing to increase awareness of yourself, including a willingness to examine old beliefs, assumptions and patterns of behavior
• Aline your Thoughts, Feelings and Actions with the values and beliefs that are most important to living the life that you want
• Have Motivation to Break the Rules. when the rules aren’t in line with your values
• Live with Gratitude and Awareness of the things that you have and an openness to the gifts that appear in your life
• Focus your attention on the Love that appears in every situation or experience

For some of us, including myself, just ask my husband, this takes a lot of practice. Incorporating daily practice through mindfulness meditation, expressive art and yoga is a helpful way to wake up to this new way of living. Even just stopping periodically to notice your breath can be an effective start.

Support is good too, and we are here to help:

The Flying Fish Blog, is intended to help you identify with the trials and triumphs of life, and includes information, tools and resources filled with creativity and inspiration to help you in your own journey towards conscious living. Each week we explore a different topic as it relates to living a conscious life filled with creative passion and purpose. Over the coming weeks you can expect a series related to this topic of living consciously including the ones listed in this post.

Please check back often, you are always welcome here.

And if you would like to attend classes or coaching to gain support in living consciously, are interested in working with us to teach others about living consciously by writing for our blog or volunteering in other ways, or have any questions about what we do, I would love to hear from you. Please contact me at mary@angelfishcreations.com.

Dreams are mentioned over 80 times in Biblical scripture. In ancient times it was well understood that dreams were one of the ways in which the Divine could communicate with humanity. Perhaps it is in our sleep that this voice finally gets our attention. Perhaps this is the only time in our day when we are still enough to receive this intimate guidance stirring within us, inviting us into the place of healing and wholeness as we journey together on earth.

An Introduction to Dream Work Class  will be held at St. Timothy’s Episcopal Church, located at 900 Calhoun St, Columbia, SC, Tuesday March 19^th from 6 – 8 pm. This is a free class taught by Leslie Hoover and Kay Reardon who will give a brief overview on dream-working and how our dreams can be applied to our busy lives today.  These two women have studied and practiced dream-working for a number of years and are a part of dream circles in Columbia which have gathered at Trinity Cathedral, St. Martin’s In the Field and St. Michael’s and All the Angels Episcopal churches . If you plan on attending, please rsvp with Kay Reardon at kayreardon@gmail.com or 803.407.3011.